i wanted to blog or something

[i wrote this out as a tumblog but you'll see as you read that i changed my mind]

But i don’t really have much to say. I need to write though, so I’m going to "blog" here rather than on my proper wordy blog. I’m not even sure if this is something that needs to be read, it’s just something that needs to be said. Oh, a rhyme, I’m a poet and i didn’t even realise. 

I don’t know why but today, or mainly tonight, I’ve felt a bit more cut off than usual. That makes no sense as, since the wedding and everything, I’ve tweeted loads, got more than a usual amount of replies and stuff today. I still feel a bit like I’m shouting into a hole and the hole is full of people who aren’t listening. And i know that’s not the job of other people, to be interested in me and what i say. If you are interested then you are, but you can’t force yourself to be any more than i can force you.

Still though i think it’s had an effect on me. All this opportunity to voice your mind. You have every chance of to say what you’re thinking, and every chance that a bunch of people will have the chance to read it. But then, everyone else has those same chances so everyone is shouting into the hole. Maybe it’s silly then that i still feel sadness whenever i realise that nobody is really listening. Or maybe they are, but they have no interest in you. They might read your thought, smile or frown or whatever and then move on with their lives. 

But there’s no interaction. Not really, and even though i know this to be the case my heart still craves the attention. I long for retweets, i do, it’s sad to say it but i do. Everyday i check to see, and most days I’m disappointed. Every day that goes by it hurts a little bit more to see that no matter how much you give yourself, nobody cares. Every dailybooth with no comment, every @reply left unanswered every tumbl left with no notes. Hell even a facebook status unliked. It’s all saying the same thing. Nobody cared today. Try again tomorrow.

It’s my fault, of course, for placing so much importance to it. Why should i care that the anonymous follower doesn’t react to what i tweeted, blogged or boothed?

Just because it’s a stupid thing to care about, doesn’t mean you don’t care about it.

And now i feel like i should apologise for being needy and moany and so on. But why should i apologise to you for feeling this way? You didn’t have to read this far. If it’s annoyed you, but you are still here it’s at least been something to read.

Do you know what? Scratch what i said at the beginning, I’ll put this on BlogSpot after all. I’d like to say feel free to comment, or tweet me or booth me or tumbl me or send a carrier pigeon. I wonder if you’ve ever felt the same as me.  I’d like to ask for you to let me know your there. It’s up to you. That’s all i wanted to say i guess.